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Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

The Valentine’s Day Matchmaker Special

Thu Feb 15 2024
dating app profilesValentine's Day experiencesoptimizing profilescrafting biospersonal preferences


The episode covers various topics related to dating app profiles, including Valentine's Day experiences, tips for optimizing profiles, crafting bios and opening moves, and personal preferences and characteristics. The hosts share their own experiences and provide advice on creating an appealing profile. They also discuss the limitations of dating apps and the importance of discussing important topics early on in dating. The episode concludes with compliments and appreciation for the women working on the podcast.


Creative Profile Elements

The hosts discuss adding creative elements to dating app profiles, such as background cameos or humorous scenarios in profile pictures.

Avoiding Unrealistic Expectations

The hosts decide against including "deep chats" as an interest in their profiles to avoid setting unrealistic expectations for first dates.

Importance of Early Discussions

The hosts emphasize the importance of discussing personal preferences and important topics early on in dating to avoid future conflicts.

Using Photos for Mystery

Joe suggests using photos from the same room to add an air of mystery to dating app profiles.

Avoiding Conan-related Interests

The hosts decide against adding a profile prompt about being a Conan fan to avoid attracting people who are interested in them because of their connection to Conan.

Including Marriage as an Option

The idea of including marriage as an option in the relationship preferences is brought up during the discussion.


  1. Valentine's Day Experiences
  2. Dating App Profile Tips
  3. Optimizing Dating App Profiles
  4. Crafting Bios and Opening Moves
  5. Personal Preferences and Characteristics

Valentine's Day Experiences

00:03 - 05:54

  • The hosts discuss their Valentine's Day experiences, with one host claiming to have eaten at the top of the Empire State Building and watched Taken on a blimp, while another claims to have gone to Paris.
  • They joke about creating fake characters and doing improv.

Dating App Profile Tips

05:35 - 11:35

  • The conversation starts with a discussion about dating apps, specifically Bumble and Hinge.
  • The host expresses their desire to help the guest improve their dating profile.
  • They discuss adding creative elements to the profile pictures, such as a background cameo or a humorous scenario.
  • The host suggests a photo of themselves serving the guest a drink as the main picture.
  • They move on to discussing interests for the profile, with an emphasis on not appearing too neurotic or self-centered.
  • The guest mentions going to therapy and sleeping well as potential interests.
  • Sports are mentioned briefly, but the guest admits they have none.
  • The guest expresses an interest in art, crafts, and making videos outside of work.
  • Going out preferences are discussed, with the guest admitting they don't go out often but enjoy concerts.

Optimizing Dating App Profiles

11:20 - 17:05

  • The podcast hosts are discussing the limitations of a dating app where users can only choose five interests.
  • They realize they have been filling out their profiles incorrectly and seek advice from Joe, the engineer.
  • Joe suggests using photos from the same room to add an air of mystery to their profiles.
  • They decide to remove their interests and rely on photos and a bio to generate more questions from potential matches.
  • The hosts discuss adding profile prompts, including one about being a Conan fan, but decide against it to avoid attracting people who are interested in them because of their connection to Conan.
  • They joke about having real-life superpowers but ultimately decide not to include them in their profiles.
  • The hosts express humorously pessimistic views about finding love through the dating app.
  • It is revealed that Joe already has a boyfriend and the hosts react with surprise and humor.
  • They discuss the unconventional nature of Joe's profile photos, which are taken in a bathroom, and express concern that it may not work for them.
  • Sam mentions being a yoga teacher as an interest on her profile, and they discuss whether attracting yoga enthusiasts is desirable or not.

Crafting Bios and Opening Moves

16:48 - 22:26

  • The conversation revolves around discussing yoga and the excessive use of exclamation points in text messages.
  • They talk about creating an opening move for chat conversations, which is like an auto-reply feature.
  • The importance of writing a fun and punchy bio for online profiles is discussed.
  • They debate whether to mention their work at a cool place in the bio or not.
  • Conan's energy and personality are mentioned as something to avoid in a potential partner.
  • There is humor around attributing certain parts of the bio to Conan's influence.
  • The idea of including marriage as an option in the relationship preferences is brought up.

Personal Preferences and Characteristics

21:59 - 27:32

  • The conversation revolves around a person named Sam who works for Conan Gray.
  • Sam expresses interest in finding a relationship, whether casual or leading to marriage.
  • There is discussion about personal preferences and characteristics, such as height and zodiac sign.
  • Sam mentions being open to using cannabis socially.
  • The topic of having children comes up, with Sam expressing a desire for them.
  • The hosts discuss the importance of discussing these topics early on in dating to avoid future conflicts.
  • They recap Sam's profile, including her photos and interests like yoga teaching and humor.
  • There is mention of potential follow-up episodes to discuss the outcomes of using dating apps.
  • Compliments are exchanged among the hosts and appreciation is expressed for the women working on the podcast.