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    The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

    E265: Rita Ora: “I Lived With Constant Anxiety”…After Being Signed By Jay-Z At 18!!!

    Mon Jul 17 2023
    Rita OraPop StarResiliencePersonal GrowthMusic Industry

    Description

    Rita Ora's journey from being a refugee to becoming an international pop star is filled with struggles, resilience, and personal growth. She emphasizes the importance of crafting your own narrative and not believing all promises. The chapters cover her background, rise to fame, early life, musical journey, coping mechanisms, finding joy, overcoming challenges, building confidence, dealing with fame, balancing work and personal life, valuing relationships, and insights into her upcoming album. Throughout the episode, Rita shares her experiences with therapy, the fear of losing everything, and the impact of her mother's illness. She also discusses the challenges of fame, personal growth, and the importance of separating work life from real life.

    Insights

    Crafting Your Own Narrative

    Rita Ora emphasizes the importance of not believing all promises and crafting your own narrative.

    Resilience and Hard Work

    Rita Ora inherited resilience and a hard work ethic from her parents, which played a crucial role in her success.

    Overcoming Challenges

    The speaker shares their struggles with anxiety, panic attacks, and the fear of losing everything, highlighting the importance of therapy and finding joy outside of work.

    Building Confidence

    Therapy, physical activity, diet, meditation, and avoiding panic-inducing situations are mentioned as tools to help build confidence.

    Lessons Learned in Early Career

    Rita Ora reflects on her early career and the importance of not blindly following successful people's paths. Longevity, sacrifice, consistency, and learning from different genres and styles are key to success.

    Finding Self-Acceptance

    Rita Ora shares her journey of self-acceptance, overcoming challenges, and developing a healthier relationship with herself through therapy and self-reflection.

    Balancing Work and Personal Life

    The speaker discusses the importance of separating work life from real life and finding inspiration in personal relationships and pursuing creative endeavors.

    Valuing Relationships

    The speaker emphasizes the importance of being selfless in relationships and valuing family amidst the chaos of personal life.

    Upcoming Album and Inspirations

    The artist shares insights into their upcoming album, which aims to connect with listeners and provide an escape through music. They find inspiration in working out, discovering new music, artists, films, and books.

    Overcoming Challenges and Inspiring Others

    Rita Ora's journey from being a refugee to becoming an international pop star inspires others to overcome challenges and pursue their dreams.

    Chapters

    1. Rita Ora's Background and Rise to Fame
    2. Early Life and Musical Journey
    3. Struggles, Coping Mechanisms, and Finding Joy
    4. Overcoming Challenges and Building Confidence
    5. Early Career and Lessons Learned
    6. Keys to Success and Building Confidence
    7. Finding Self-Acceptance and Overcoming Challenges
    8. Dealing with Fame and Personal Growth
    9. Balancing Work and Personal Life
    10. Valuing Relationships and Personal Growth
    11. Upcoming Album and Inspirations
    Summary
    Transcript

    Rita Ora's Background and Rise to Fame

    00:00 - 07:14

    • Rita Ora is an international pop star with the most solo female UK top 10 singles in history.
    • She came to the UK as a refugee from Kosovo when she was one year old.
    • Rita Ora's rise to fame was supported by Jay-Z and her first album shot to number one.
    • She struggled with alcohol, panic attacks, and feeling broken.
    • Rita emphasizes the importance of not believing all promises and crafting your own narrative.
    • Her parents chose to come to the UK because it was close enough to home but still safe.
    • When they arrived, they moved around a lot but maintained a happy upbringing for Rita.
    • There wasn't a separation event, but they lived in temporary housing before settling in West London.
    • Rita inherited resilience, hard work ethic, and sticking by her word from her parents.
    • Her mother is a psychiatrist and her father studied economics.

    Early Life and Musical Journey

    06:50 - 14:15

    • The speaker's mother was a psychiatrist at Baking Cosiverse
    • The speaker's father studied economics and worked in a pizza spot in Naughty Dog
    • The speaker's mother battled breast cancer while studying psychiatry and English
    • The speaker's older sister helped with homework due to their parents' limited English skills
    • Primary school had ups and downs, but the speaker enjoyed participating in musicals like Cinderella
    • The speaker realized her interest in singing after getting the main role in Cinderella
    • A teacher recognized the speaker's music talent and encouraged her parents to support it
    • The speaker's traditional parents were surprised but supportive of her pursuing music
    • The speaker's parents taught her resilience through their hard work and openness about money
    • Growing up watching her parents fight to survive influenced the speaker's work ethic
    • The feeling of needing to prove herself and overwork to belong never goes away for the speaker

    Struggles, Coping Mechanisms, and Finding Joy

    13:47 - 20:44

    • The speaker always wants more and is never satisfied with their accomplishments.
    • They love their work but constantly seek the next challenge.
    • An immigrant friend inherited a fear of losing everything and finds security in work.
    • Work can provide purpose but also lead to feeling less than when things don't go well.
    • The speaker is working on finding joy outside of work and not letting it regulate their happiness.
    • The speaker's mother being diagnosed with breast cancer was a pivotal moment in their life.
    • They felt that their parents were untouchable until they saw their mother's illness.
    • The speaker struggled emotionally during this time, rebelling and struggling to focus in school.
    • They tried to find a solution for their mother's pain but couldn't do anything.
    • After the incident, the speaker appreciates their parents more and makes an effort to show it.
    • The speaker copes by throwing themselves into work or finding passionate projects as distractions.
    • Therapy has been helpful for the speaker, which was recommended by their mother.

    Overcoming Challenges and Building Confidence

    20:23 - 27:35

    • Therapy was recommended by the speaker's mother and it helped with their anxiety and panic attacks.
    • The fear of losing everything is a common thought, even among successful individuals.
    • The speaker has nightmares about going back to square one.
    • The speaker is grateful for their opportunities and wants to inspire others through their work with UNICEF.
    • Showing up and being present were key factors in the speaker's journey from joining a choir to signing with a record label.
    • Therapy has been helpful for the speaker, which was recommended by their mother.
    • The speaker has nightmares about going back to square one.
    • The speaker is grateful for their opportunities and wants to inspire others through their work with UNICEF.
    • Showing up and being present were key factors in the speaker's journey from joining a choir to signing with a record label.

    Early Career and Lessons Learned

    27:17 - 34:37

    • Rita talks about her early career and the fear she felt during that time.
    • She didn't have a plan B and was determined to make it in music.
    • A demo she sang on caught the attention of an ANR lady, which led to her signing with Jay-Z's team.
    • Rita moved to Brooklyn at the age of 18 and started her music career.
    • The advice Rita needed but didn't get was not to believe all the promises people tell you.
    • Instead, she believes in working on your craft and being able to stand alone.
    • Rita wanted people to love her as a person, not just for her music or fame.
    • She desired to be wanted and accepted from a young age.
    • At the start of her career, Rita was naive and eager to please others.

    Keys to Success and Building Confidence

    34:17 - 41:05

    • Questioning authority and not blindly following successful people's paths is important
    • Longevity and having the right team are key to success
    • Sacrifice and consistency are necessary for achieving goals
    • Doing the homework and learning from different genres and styles is crucial
    • Convincing others to join your journey is another stage of success
    • Believing in the theory of 10,000 hours to become a master
    • Confidence can be masked externally while doubts persist internally
    • Controlling thoughts through therapy, physical activity, diet, meditation, and avoiding panic-inducing situations helps with confidence
    • Using tools like voice notes, working out, meditating, and paying attention to smells aids in maintaining calmness

    Finding Self-Acceptance and Overcoming Challenges

    40:55 - 47:52

    • Rita has found value in using voice notes, working out, meditating, and eating as ways to understand her feelings.
    • Through therapy, Rita has learned to better understand her own emotions and not just rely on external expectations of happiness.
    • During her twenties, Rita felt overwhelmed and lost touch with loved ones due to the sudden success of her music career.
    • Rita realized she had lost herself through symptoms such as seeking validation from relationships and engaging in unhealthy habits like drinking.
    • Therapy helped Rita navigate a quarter-life crisis and address panic attacks that stemmed from fear of experiencing them again.
    • Many people avoid therapy because they are afraid of what it may bring up or reveal about themselves.
    • Growing up, Rita was accustomed to noise and activity in her household, which contrasted with the silence she felt during her difficult moments.
    • Despite the pressures of fame and self-doubt, Rita has been able to turn her life around and develop a healthier relationship with herself.

    Dealing with Fame and Personal Growth

    47:28 - 54:58

    • The pressure of being famous and meeting incredible people has made the speaker feel inadequate
    • The speaker is generally very trusting, sometimes to a fault
    • They have been disappointed in their work life and now don't ask anyone for anything
    • Despite disappointments, the speaker has formed genuine friendships and created relationships that have led to opportunities
    • The speaker's album 'You and I' represents a rebirth and a focus on longevity in their career
    • They aspire to be like Kylie Minogue and Jennifer Lopez, who have stood the test of time in the music industry
    • Dealing with failures can be difficult, but it's important to keep going and learn from mistakes
    • Regret is horrible and makes the speaker feel like everything they've done is about to disappear
    • The weight of responsibility feels heavy, but the speaker tries to stay genuine and true to themselves
    • Separating work life from real life is important for the speaker

    Balancing Work and Personal Life

    54:38 - 1:01:55

    • I've learned to separate work life and real life
    • My real life is having dinner at home and hanging out with my husband
    • I have taken care of my family since a young age
    • Family is a big thing for me, when one goes, we're all going
    • I felt broken multiple times
    • When I was broken, nothing anyone said could put me back together
    • I am strong because I'm still here and running a business
    • I feel inspired and love the idea of owning a business and pursuing various creative endeavors
    • Tiger and I were friends before getting married, it didn't feel any different
    • Being married has made me more excited about achieving new goals
    • Finding someone who can manage the pace of my life was difficult but I met someone who also lives a busy life
    • It's not about someone fixing everything for you, it's about being in the right frame of mind
    • Our early experiences shape our attachment styles romantically

    Valuing Relationships and Personal Growth

    1:01:45 - 1:08:02

    • Realized the importance of being selfless in relationships
    • Previously prioritized career over relationships
    • Parents have a strong marriage, but personal life was chaotic
    • Started valuing family and joy amidst the craziness
    • Zoe sponsorship and personal experience with gut health testing kit
    • Believes press coverage has shifted after getting married
    • Recognizes the human consequences of tabloid stories
    • Prefers expressing herself through art, particularly music
    • Working with her husband, an Oscar-winning director, on music videos was amazing
    • Honored to work with him due to his talent and iconic films
    • Enjoyed the creative process and felt like a mini movie
    • Listened to three records for the upcoming album, each evoking different feelings

    Upcoming Album and Inspirations

    1:07:34 - 1:13:56

    • The album consists of three singles that have different feelings and themes.
    • The opening track, 'Don't Think Twice,' is about taking a leap of faith in love.
    • 'You Only Love Me' explores the uncertainty and timing of exclusivity in a relationship.
    • 'Girl in the Mirror' focuses on self-acceptance and embracing one's flaws.
    • The album aims to connect with listeners and provide an escape from their problems through music.
    • The artist finds drive and confidence through working out regularly.
    • Non-negotiable rituals include working out and finding good books to read.
    • The artist enjoys discovering new music, artists, films, and books for inspiration.
    • Creativity is fueled by people's stories and genuine conversations.
    • The artist expresses excitement for the upcoming album release, which offers fresh sounds and diverse music styles.
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