Hidden Brain
Learning From Your Mistakes
Mon Jul 24 2023Description
The episode explores the rise and fall of Tower Records, the challenges of learning from failure feedback, the impact of failure on self-esteem and decision-making, the power of failure feedback in predicting success, the influence of media and expertise on learning from failure, developing expertise and embracing failure, and the importance of focusing on the big picture. It emphasizes the value of failure as an opportunity for feedback and learning, and highlights the need to prioritize learning over performance. The episode also discusses strategies for effectively learning from failure, such as starting in the middle of a task when getting lost, dissociating oneself from projects to view failure objectively, and creating a goal pyramid to maintain focus on the bigger picture.
Insights
Failure is a valuable form of feedback
Failure provides valuable information and learning opportunities that can help individuals improve and achieve their desired goals.
The impact of failure on self-esteem
Failure is often interpreted as a reflection of the self, leading to a decrease in confidence and self-esteem. This can hinder future growth and success.
The importance of learning from failure
People tend to overestimate what they can learn from success and underestimate what they can learn from failure. Failure feedback is crucial for personal and professional development.
The role of media in shaping perceptions of failure
Media tends to focus more on success stories, creating a skewed perception of the frequency and impact of failure. This can lead to a fear of failure and a reluctance to share stories of failure.
The value of expertise in accepting failure feedback
Experts are better at accepting feedback due to their confidence in their overall expertise. Their ability to dissociate themselves from their projects also helps them view failure objectively.
Developing expertise and embracing failure
Becoming an expert requires confidence in one's knowledge and openness to feedback. Focusing on the process rather than the outcome can lead to more reasoned decision-making.
The importance of focusing on the big picture
Focusing on larger goals and commitments makes it easier to accept feedback about failures. It helps put smaller problems and failures into perspective.
Sharing failures and creating a CV of failures
Sharing failures can help change perceptions of success and reduce the fear of failure. Creating a CV of failures provides a realistic perspective on achievement and success.
The guest's experience with failure
The guest, Lauren, has a longer CV of failures compared to her CV of successes. Her experiences highlight the importance of resilience and adaptability in the face of failure.
Chapters
- The Rise and Fall of Tower Records
- Learning from Failure Feedback
- The Impact of Failure on Self-Esteem and Decision-Making
- The Power of Failure Feedback in Predicting Success
- The Influence of Media and Expertise on Learning from Failure
- Developing Expertise and Embracing Failure
- The Importance of Focusing on the Big Picture
The Rise and Fall of Tower Records
00:00 - 07:56
- Russell Solomon started selling used records in his father's drug store and eventually opened Tower Records, which became a billion-dollar empire.
- Tower Records faced decline due to digital file sharing sites like Napster and filed for bankruptcy in 2004.
Learning from Failure Feedback
07:26 - 15:41
- The podcast explores why successful individuals often ignore serious threats and the limitations humans face in learning from failure.
- Lauren S. Crease Winkler shares her experience of struggling with negative feedback on her piano playing as a child.
- Lauren found it difficult to accept criticism and preferred practicing on Tuesdays when the cleaning lady's noise drowned out her mistakes.
- She also resisted taking breaks from playing the piano, leading to tendonitis.
- Lauren's mother advised her to practice starting from random points in the music to develop resilience and adaptability.
- Starting in the middle of a piece can be helpful if you get lost
- Lauren's dream of becoming a classical pianist was shattered when she lost her place during an audition
- Lauren studied how people respond to feedback and found that failure makes everyone feel terrible
- In an experiment, people who received failure feedback learned significantly less than those who received success feedback
- Our fear of bad news often leads us to ignore failure and avoid negative information
- Failure is a form of feedback that tells us we are not achieving our desired goals
- There are many barriers that prevent us from paying attention to failure feedback
The Impact of Failure on Self-Esteem and Decision-Making
15:23 - 22:49
- Failure is often interpreted as a reflection of the self, which undermines our confidence and self-esteem.
- The desire to protect our self-esteem can lead us to change our views about how much we want to succeed.
- This is known as the sour grape effect, where we convince ourselves that we didn't really want something after failing to achieve it.
- Investing a significant amount of time and effort in a particular direction can make changing course demoralizing.
- Focusing too much on winning or performing can hinder learning and growth.
- There is a trade-off between performance and learning, and wisdom lies in knowing when to prioritize each.
- Failure should be seen as an opportunity for feedback and learning rather than just an obstacle to overcome with persistence.
- In the best case scenario, failure is a gift that provides valuable information and insights.
The Power of Failure Feedback in Predicting Success
22:20 - 30:02
- Failure is a gift that provides valuable information and learning opportunities.
- People tend to overestimate what they can learn from success and underestimate what they can learn from failure.
- Negative movie reviews are more predictive of a movie's box office performance than positive reviews.
- Failure is unexpected, while success is expected, leading to more communication about unexpected events.
- Negative reviews contain valuable information that can predict the success or failure of movies at the box office.
- Positive reviews do not provide the same predictive power as negative reviews.
- Negative reviews can also predict which film will win Best Picture at the Oscars, while positive reviews cannot.
- Many people underestimate the true rate of failure across various domains, including personal relationships, national security, and business failures.
- Even in sports like hockey where wins and losses are evenly distributed, people still overestimate the win rate of teams.
- Reluctance to share stories about failures contributes to misperceptions about the frequency of failure.
The Influence of Media and Expertise on Learning from Failure
29:40 - 36:45
- Media tends to report more on winning than losing, creating a skewed perception.
- Learning from failure is easier when it's someone else failing.
- Feedback given indirectly is easier to process and learn from.
- Dissociating ourselves from our projects helps us view failure objectively.
- Giving advice to others boosts confidence and investment in our own goals.
- Experts are better at accepting feedback due to their confidence in their overall expertise.
Developing Expertise and Embracing Failure
36:26 - 43:15
- Being a real expert means having confidence in your knowledge and being open to feedback.
- Novices often question their abilities, while experts focus on improvement.
- Failing in the dark is a technique used by chess masters to learn from grandmasters without direct interaction.
- The same technique can be applied to writing by studying and comparing the work of experts.
- Receiving feedback from oneself is less threatening than hearing it from an external authority figure.
- Expertise helps develop an internal sense of what's correct and where one wants to go.
- Focusing on the process rather than the outcome can lead to more reasoned decision-making.
- Building a goal pyramid helps put failures into perspective and reminds us of our ultimate goals.
- Abraham Lincoln's ability to absorb failure and insults was due to his focus on winning the Civil War.
The Importance of Focusing on the Big Picture
42:45 - 49:09
- Focusing on the big goal makes smaller problems and failures easier to handle
- Abraham Lincoln's ability to focus on the larger goal despite personal attacks is commendable
- Being committed to something bigger than ourselves makes it easier to accept feedback about failures
- Tunnel vision on oneself hinders accepting failure, while focusing on the task is more effective
- Parenting is challenging because caring about the larger goal of raising children outweighs self-concern
- Sharing failures can help change perceptions of success and reduce fear of failure
- Creating a CV of failures can provide a realistic perspective on achievement and success
- The guest, Lauren, has a longer CV of failures compared to her CV of successes