Modern Wisdom

Lewis Howes - How To Defeat Your Self Doubt

Sat Mar 04 2023

self-doubtconfidencefailuresuccessmissionactionchangemindsetsupportpersonal growth

Description

The episode covers topics such as overcoming self-doubt, building confidence, finding your mission, taking action, and embracing change. It emphasizes the importance of failure as a learning opportunity, the impact of traumatic events on personal growth, and the role of mentors in achieving greatness. The episode also explores the intersection of mindset, motion, and impact, and provides insights on assessing self-love and inner peace.

Insights

Failure is a part of the process towards success

Failure should be celebrated as a learning opportunity and feedback for improvement. Athletes understand that failure is part of the process towards success. Children learn from failure and develop resilience when it is encouraged and celebrated.

Overcoming self-doubt is a continuous journey

Overcoming self-doubt involves healing, learning, and staying humble. It requires analyzing one's fears and doubts, creating a new relationship with oneself, and identifying reactive behaviors based on unhealthy beliefs.

Finding your mission involves facing yourself and healing wounds

To find your mission, you need to evaluate your past experiences and challenges. It also requires facing yourself, healing wounds, and figuring out your current season in life. Having a clear mission for each season allows you to focus and make decisions easily.

Taking action consistently builds confidence

Taking action consistently provides undeniable evidence and proof, which builds confidence. Building confidence through action is important, but it's also necessary to address past wounds and traumas for true fulfillment.

Having a support system is crucial for progress

Having a strong support system and community is important for forward progress and mental well-being. Seeking support from mentors, coaches, and learning resources can help overcome challenges faster and minimize pain.

Overcoming fears through action leads to personal growth

Facing fears and taking action helps overcome feelings of being stuck or trapped in life. By challenging oneself and seeking guidance from mentors, one can overcome fears in various areas of life and achieve personal growth.

Committing to a mission empowers and guides actions

Committing to one thing allows for growth and learning about the process. Having a meaningful mission helps overcome fears and self-doubt. It provides clear direction and purpose, empowering individuals to take action.

Optimizing deeply in one area is beneficial

Optimizing deeply in one area during a specific period of life is beneficial. Trying different activities can help fulfill desires and prevent them from becoming toxic. Interests and missions can change over time, and that's okay.

Internal dialogue and belief drive mindset and motion

Internal dialogue backed by action and belief is more effective than affirmations. Overcoming past pains and creating a healthy identity are important for mindset and motion. The intersection of thoughts, behaviors, and emotions determines impact.

Assessing self-love and inner peace is crucial

Assessing self-love and inner peace on a scale of 1 to 10 is important. The episode provides assessments and solutions from experts in various fields to help create peace, harmony, and impact with others. It aims to inspire others to be their best and feel a sense of love and community.

Chapters

Introduction
Overcoming Failure and Self-Doubt
Discovering Your Passions and Helping Others
Overcoming Self-Doubt and Building Confidence
Changing Self-Narration and Believing in Oneself
Striving for Improvement and Overcoming Fear
Building Confidence through Action and Addressing Past Pains
Fulfilling Your Mission and Finding Support
Overcoming Fears and Taking Action
Taking Action and Overcoming Fear of Judgment
Developing a Greatness Mindset and Finding Your Avenue
Committing to Your Mission and Embracing Change
The Intersection of Mindset, Motion, and Impact
Assessing Self-Love and Inner Peace

Summary

Transcript

Introduction

00:00 - 07:28

Lewis Howes is a former professional athlete, podcaster, and author.
Many people struggle with self-doubt and lack confidence in achieving their goals.
Success alone does not bring fulfillment; it is a selfish game focused on personal accomplishments.
Greatness, on the other hand, involves making an impact on others and helping them succeed.
Success may not lead to happiness; many high achievers feel driven by feelings of insufficiency.
Failure should be celebrated as a learning opportunity and feedback for improvement.
Athletes understand that failure is part of the process towards success.
Children learn from failure and develop resilience when it is encouraged and celebrated.

Overcoming Failure and Self-Doubt

06:58 - 13:53

Failure is just feedback and a part of the process of success.
We often stop after one failure instead of persevering.
There is an asymmetry between what we see of others' failures and our own mundane failures.
Jason Redman's positive attitude and mindset helped him recover from severe injuries.
Our interpretation and meaning of traumatic events determine our peace and harmony afterwards.
Successful people are able to deal with setbacks, difficulties, and challenges.
Creating new meaning from wounds and traumas can lead to a happy life.
Reacting with anger, negativity, stress, or overwhelm is not useful for living a beautiful life.
Finding your why or mission involves facing yourself, healing wounds, and figuring out your current season in life.

Discovering Your Passions and Helping Others

13:35 - 20:25

Figure out where you're at right now and what you need to do to survive and get your own life together.
When exploring your passions, lean into curiosity and interest as they help you deal with stress and adversity.
Assess your invisible talents and find ways to make them useful.
Overcome fears one by one to gain confidence and new skills.
Find a problem that you want to solve in order to feel more in service and useful.
Helping people overcome self-doubt can give them the courage to act on their dreams.
Evaluate your past experiences and challenges to find ways to help others avoid pitfalls or expedite successes.
Being in service is transcendent and makes everyone feel better. It is the top level of self-actualization.

Overcoming Self-Doubt and Building Confidence

19:58 - 25:49

Being in service is seen as transcendent and the pinnacle of self-actualization.
Identify the pains you've been through as a way to help others going through similar experiences.
Robert Greene's journey to finding his mission involved trying various things until he found what he was passionate about.
Self-doubt can be analyzed by looking in the mirror and asking yourself who you are and what fears and doubts hold you back.
Overcoming self-doubt is a continuous journey of healing, learning, and staying humble.
Creating a list of insecurities can help identify reactive behaviors based on unhealthy beliefs.

Changing Self-Narration and Believing in Oneself

25:31 - 32:22

The speaker used to react with anger and depression based on the results in his life.
He created a new contract with himself to change his self-narration and identity.
He realized that the things we say to ourselves would be considered unhealthy if said to others.
The new contract included being a loving, passionate, and wise person.
He had to act accordingly every day to reaffirm these qualities.
Over time, he was able to let go of anger, depression, and feeling stupid.
Belief is important even if action is taken; talent without belief leads to imposter adaptation.
Negative self-criticism can hinder progress and it's important to overcome it.
Learning how to believe in oneself is not often taught in school or by parents.

Striving for Improvement and Overcoming Fear

32:02 - 38:34

The strategies that got us here may not facilitate performance past a certain point.
There is a balance between belief and action.
Having undeniable proof of who you are can help combat chronic unconfidence.
Striving for perfection can hinder performance, so focus on performing better instead.
Polishing things to perfection is a low leverage activity.
For most people, small improvements in performance don't make a significant difference in learning or market impact.
Consistency and improvement over time are more important than striving for perfection.
The fear to conversion toolkit involves transforming thoughts into congruency with your mission and accepting that you are enough while still working to improve.
Facing fears and taking action helps overcome feelings of being stuck or trapped in life.

Building Confidence through Action and Addressing Past Pains

38:05 - 44:41

Taking action consistently provides undeniable evidence and proof, which builds confidence.
Many people mask their insecurities by projecting a false sense of confidence to fit in and belong.
Building confidence through action is important, but it can also be a cover-up if past wounds are not addressed.
Addressing past pains and traumas is necessary for healing and finding peace.
Taking action alone may not bring fulfillment if emotional triggers still have power over you.
Finding the balance between feeling enough and staying hungry is challenging for high performers.
High performers often experience more misery than average individuals, unless they find harmony in their lives.
Having a chip on your shoulder can drive you, but it may not lead to long-term fulfillment.
Desiring to fulfill your mission can be a stronger motivator than having a chip on your shoulder.

Fulfilling Your Mission and Finding Support

44:18 - 50:35

The speaker no longer feels like they have a chip on their shoulder, but rather a desire to fulfill their mission and give their best to their creator.
They are focused on being of service to their mission and making an impact, rather than seeking validation or success.
The speaker believes that having a strong support system and community is important for forward progress and mental well-being.
They emphasize the importance of playing the game of life with others instead of feeling like it's them against the world.
The speaker criticizes the narcissistic victim mentality of thinking that the world is against them, highlighting how rarely other people actually care about one's actions.
Examples of top athletes who achieved greatness with support from coaches and teammates are mentioned as evidence for the value of having mentors and advisors in various areas of life.
The speaker encourages seeking support and wisdom from mentors, coaches, and learning resources like podcasts to overcome challenges faster and minimize pain.
It is acknowledged that not everyone may have access to multiple coaches, but they can still surround themselves with great minds through content consumption.

Overcoming Fears and Taking Action

50:18 - 56:34

Struggled to connect and needed insight and guidance
Lacked role models in nightlife
Had reverse role models in sports
Cricket exposed to adult life at a young age
Found community and role models online
Sought coaches to navigate life after sports
Overcame fears through public speaking mentorship
Met mentor by attending Toastmasters clubs
Received support during a low moment from a speaker mentor
Conquered fear of dancing through salsa lessons

Taking Action and Overcoming Fear of Judgment

56:17 - 1:03:11

The speaker recalls his experience living above a jazz club and being fascinated by salsa dancing.
Initially feeling intimidated and uncomfortable, the speaker observed dancers for three months before participating.
Overcoming the fear of judgment, the speaker realized that no one was paying attention to his dancing.
Motivated by this realization, the speaker immersed himself in salsa dancing, taking lessons and becoming fluent within six months.
The speaker challenged himself to approach top dancers in clubs around the world and learned from rejection.
Taking action and seeking guidance from mentors helped the speaker overcome fears in various areas of life.
Consistent action allowed the speaker to become proficient in salsa dancing as well as other skills like writing and public speaking.

Developing a Greatness Mindset and Finding Your Avenue

1:02:49 - 1:09:33

The difference between a powerless mindset and a greatness mindset is important to understand.
A powerless mindset lacks a meaningful mission, while a greatness mindset has clear direction and purpose.
Being controlled by fear makes us powerless, but overcoming fear empowers us.
Crippling self-doubt holds us back, but learning to feel enough and have a new relationship with ourselves can overcome it.
Concealing past pains keeps us powerless, while sharing them can bring healing and growth.
Being defined by the opinions of others limits our power, finding the balance between feedback and self-identity is key.
Committing oneself to one thing allows for growth and learning about the process.

Committing to Your Mission and Embracing Change

1:09:03 - 1:15:22

Committing to one thing helps you learn about the process and find your avenue
Trying different activities can help fulfill your desires and prevent them from becoming toxic
Your interests and missions can change over time, and that's okay
Having a clear mission for each season of life allows you to focus and make decisions easily
Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk had single orienting principles that guided their actions
Optimizing deeply in one area during a specific period of life is beneficial

The Intersection of Mindset, Motion, and Impact

1:15:01 - 1:21:19

Talking about seasons of life allows you to optimize on one area
Having a meaningful mission helps overcome fears and self-doubt
Overcoming past pains and creating a healthy identity is important
Internal dialogue backed by action and belief is more effective than affirmations
The mindset and motion is the intersection of thoughts, behaviors, and emotions

Assessing Self-Love and Inner Peace

1:20:56 - 1:24:12

Assess your self-love and inner peace on a scale of 1 to 10
The book provides assessments and solutions from experts in various fields
The goal is to create peace, harmony, and impact with others
Inspire others to be their best and feel a sense of love and community
If you feel like you're missing these things, the book is a good place to start